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Saturday, June 9, 2007

In Remembrance: Mac (February 2007 - June 2007)

Today is a dark day for the Mac community. Somewhere Bill Gates is smiling, but I, on the other hand, have shed a deep and soulful tear. I did a terrible, unthinkable thing today, something that may cause the faithful Macintosh cult to do the unheard of and revoke my lifetime membership. Yes, it is that serious. No, I did not buy a PC (I may be occasionally absent-minded, but I'm not that crazy and do still have some dignity).

Today, I... I ... I'm sorry, this is very difficult for me. Today I [gulp] killed my beloved Intel Duo Core MacBook Pro laptop. [insert image of tear trickling down cheek here]. Yes, I have been forever labeled a Mac murderer.

It started off like any other Friday morning... I was running a little late and trying to do too much at once. As I reached the car with my hands full and my keys buried deep in my front pocket, I realized I left my phone in the kitchen. It was then I unknowingly made a seemingly insignificant decision that would ultimately lead to the untimely death of my trusted friend and companion. I placed my titanium buddy and a couple other miscellaneous items on the top of my car while I ran back inside to grab my phone. I distinctly remember thinking as I was walking away from the car, 'Surely I'll remember to grab everything off the top of the car when I come back before driving off, right? Yeah, no problem... there's no way I can forget that. Go on, genius, go get your phone.'

Do I even need to finish this story? To spare you a drawn-out version of the obvious impending doom and to spare me from any more trauma than I've already endured, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version. So I got to my destination a little more than 10 miles down the road, got outta the car, opened the back door to a barren back seat and had an instant moment of heart-stopping, mind-numbing revelation, the same type I can only imagine Pete Best had when he quit a little-known band named the Beatles just before they became the biggest music phenomenon the world had ever seen. The crime had been committed, and all that was left to do was backtrack for a reconnaissance mission to recover the body of my fallen comrade.

Unfortunately the ending to this melancholy story comes without any sense of comforting closure that usually initiates the healing process. No body was ever found... only an envelope and a photo that was accompanying Mac on his final journey.

I miss you already, Mac, and I'm sorry I failed you. You deserved better. I will always cherish our brief $3100 friendship. You were my workhorse, my lifeline, my wizard behind the curtain. Well done my good and faithful silicon servant. Rest in pieces.


Jennifer said...

A. single. tear.

Poor Mac. I'm sure he's in a better place, running free in the meadow with other Macs.

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace silver magician...
We will all miss you (until you are duly replaced!)

Patrick said...

Since you never found him, there is a chance, just maybe, he was found by a really caring family, has amnesia, but is happy with his new life.

How does insurance cover "flyaways?"

Matt Nicolosi said...

Unfortunately, insurance only covers it if it's stolen are damaged by wind, fire, water or some other act of God.

Actually, I guess I could technically claim all those conditions.

[cut to police report filing scene]

Officer: "So you say the laptop was stolen? And where was it stolen from?

Matt: "The middle of the highway... "

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't a "Matt move" be considered an act of God? Since he did create you...